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Should I Text My Therapist Out of Session? – EMDR

Asked by on with 1 answer:

Hi. My therapist from the beginning said if I ever need help or support out of therapy sessions that I should text or call. She gave me her number on a special sticker thing so I wouldn’t loose it!

However, that was a few months ago and I haven’t needed to contact her. But after last fridays meeting, I feel so so bad. I feel like I need to reach out and tell her I’m thinking about not continuing because of how bad it has made me feel and how it is interfering with my day to day life now.

Should I text her? I don’t want to cross the boundary, but I know she originally said I could… I’m just not sure how to proceed? I wouldn’t call because I don’t think I would get any words out! But I have written a long text saying what I truly feel. She’s been saying she needs me to ‘open my emotional door’ because it is so tightly closed! This text is VERY VERY open.

Don’t know if a text is crossing the line? or strange? I don’t want to invade her privacy by texting.

Advice would be amazing, Thank you! (From London)

Should I Text My Therapist Out of Session? – EMDR

Answered by on -


 I believe it takes a great deal of courage to express these types of feeling to your therapist, and I appreciate consideration of the therapist’s boundaries. If she said it was okay to text, then I would text a brief message saying that you had difficulty with the last session and it is still bothering you. Let her know that you would be willing to write it all out, but that it would be lengthy, and that a phone call might be difficult. Be sure to let her know that you are feeling bad enough that you have considered discontinuing therapy. As an EMDR therapist, I am certain she will understand.

By asking her to help you in the communication process you have already done something that has therapeutic value — while not expressing so much that it may feel like a boundary issue.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral


Should I Text My Therapist Out of Session? – EMDR

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Should I Text My Therapist Out of Session? – EMDR. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Oct 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.