The only form of treatment you are receiving seems to be medication. I would strongly recommend counseling. Counseling might be the missing element in your treatment. Medication without counseling is not a comprehensive treatment when it comes to most mental health disorders. You might also benefit from group counseling or a bereavement support group.
You may have taken on too much responsibility. At the height of your suffering, you decided to begin school and apparently are in the process of adoption, all while trying to care for yourself, your two children and grieving the recent loss of your mother and stepfather. In addition, you’re not sleeping. It would make sense that you might feel overwhelmed; most people would feel exactly the same way.
This is a serious issue because of your suicidal thoughts. Consider delaying the things that can wait (i.e. school and perhaps adoption) until you are feeling more stable. You should also seek counseling. Once you begin counseling, your therapist can refer you to a new psychiatrist to determine if a medication change is necessary.
If you have suicidal thoughts, go to the emergency room or call emergency services. They can protect you from harming yourself.
These issues are highly treatable. Counseling can make a major difference in your life. It is well worth trying. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle