Hello. From the outside I am a perfectly normal girl, with a Masters Degree, with good friends around me, but I am 26 now and I never had a boyfriend. I have plenty of male as friends, but I am so shy I always keep the distance. To be honest I am ashamed to say that I’m a virgin.
I did dated guys, we kissed, but when it comes to more I feel shy and scared to say I’m a virgin at my age.
Maybe it’s a fear since childhood as my parents divorced since I was 2 years old, I didn’t meet my dad and my mother told me since a fragile age to focus on my studies, don’t leave men touch me, have sex with me and use me, don’t get pregnant, stay a virgin until I reach 18 etc.
Now she says that all parents teach their children to be careful, and when they grow up they still have sex so that’s not the reason.
Furthermore, as time passed by this fear became worst and now I am 26 years old and I am scared that when I will find a guy that I like he will run off, consider me I’m a weirdo.
This fear comes from the fact that when I was about 20, people were making fun of me, making jokes that maybe I have a disease or I like girls and that’s why I am a virgin. Since than I always avoided to talk about my sex life.
Another problem is that I feel that I am quite unlucky. usually the guys who like me I don’t like them and the ones I like we become best friends and they tell me everything about their life, but they respect me so much they don’t get closer and they end up being with other girls…
I also have low self esteem, even if I done modelling and I am quite pretty, I am scared a guy will run off if I wear no make up because I have big dark circles and small boobs. I also compare myself with other girls and I think I am not as good as they are because at 26 they have plenty of experience with men while me, I don’t have any.
I am trying to find out how I can overcome this phobia of men and where does it come from.
Looking forward of hearing from you !
Thank you (From the UK)