You are correct to be concerned. The fact that you are concerned tells me that you have a strong core of mental health. That is something to build on.
If you were seeing me for therapy, we would be exploring why it is that you are so afraid of your anger that you store it up until you can’t hold it in any more. Is it okay for you to be angry? Do you have role models for how to manage it productively? Is there someone important in your life who has taught you that anger is dangerous?
Anger is a human emotion. There is nothing wrong with being angry. There is lots wrong with expressing it in a way that harms yourself or another person – or another creature.
You need some specific help for anger management. If therapy isn’t available to you, please do find books and resources online. You might find it helpful to participate in a forum here on PsychCentral. Go to the homepage. Click on “Find Help.” Then click on “Forums and Support Groups.”
You are clearly an intelligent person. You can benefit from reading and conversing with others who are also learning how to express anger appropriately. If that doesn’t help you bring your expression of anger to a reasonable level, please do consider finding a therapist to help you.
I wish you well.