Your symptoms are concerning. It’s not normal to think that people are after you or watching you or to be thinking about how to kill. These symptoms suggest that something may be wrong. You had counseling in the past but ended it prematurely. You should go back to counseling. It would help you solve these problems. Medication and counseling could help you immensely.
Your father is correct to be concerned about your obsession with horror movies and serial killers. You should avoid anything that is reinforcing unhealthy, concerning thoughts and behaviors. Ask your father if he can assist you in finding a mental health professional in the community.
If you feel that you cannot control your behavior, then you should immediately go to the emergency room. You can also call the local crisis center. Trained mental health professionals can come to your home, evaluate your symptoms and recommend the appropriate course of treatment. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle