I admire your persistence in looking for some understanding of your situation. You seem to have a very clear and nuanced understanding of what’s wrong and bothersome. You have done your homework when it comes to looking at how these things have influenced you and chipped away at your self-esteem. For a 15 year-old, I find your capacity for self-reflection and description remarkable. This is where I’d like to begin my response.
For someone to be able to reveal their grit and determination in exploring their life, and to do so in such a sophisticated narrative means that amidst all that is not okay there are many strong character traits and valuable skills. My recommendation is three-fold. First, let your counselors at you high school know that you would like their help. You mother’s ignorance about your needs shouldn’t be the thing that stops you from getting them met. Secondly, I would encourage you to join out online support forums. They are not counseling per-se, but they will give you a vehicle for support.
Finally, I would encourage you to take the young adult version of the VIA character strength survey. This is a free resource that will allow you to understand what your strength and abilities are and to start using them — not just focus on the difficulties and limitations. Together with the help of your counselors, the online forum and the use of your strengths I believe you will begin to transform.