From the U.S.: I was sexually abused as a child from the ages of 5 – 15 by a close family member. I have since had several other people abuse me. I have never really had any interest in sex, until recently.
Since I’ve started counseling in December, I have become more aware of my feelings both emotionally and physically. I found myself to be interested in exploring having sexual relationship, however I’m still extremely afraid of sex. Of the shame, humiliation and pain that goes with it.
How do I talk to my therapist about these fears without seeming to be (1) A total freak? and (2) Like I’m coming onto him? He has been a great help to me and I am truly grateful to have him as a therapist, but I don’t know how to talk to him about it or if it’s even appropriate to talk to him about it?How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?
How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?
Thank you for writing in spite of the discomfort you are feeling about the subject.
Please understand that therapists generally have a great deal of experience with issues such as yours. People who have been abused often struggle to regain the comfort with their own bodies — and with sex — that is everyone’s birthright. Your therapist will not be shocked or upset or judgmental.
I suggest that you simply take your letter and this response to your next session as a way to venture into a topic that is difficult for you. You and your therapist will then decide together how best to address your fears.
I wish you well.