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How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?

Asked by on with 1 answer:

From the U.S.: I was sexually abused as a child from the ages of 5 – 15 by a close family member. I have since had several other people abuse me. I have never really had any interest in sex, until recently.

Since I’ve started counseling in December, I have become more aware of my feelings both emotionally and physically. I found myself to be interested in exploring having sexual relationship, however I’m still extremely afraid of sex. Of the shame, humiliation and pain that goes with it.

How do I talk to my therapist about these fears without seeming to be (1) A total freak? and (2) Like I’m coming onto him? He has been a great help to me and I am truly grateful to have him as a therapist, but I don’t know how to talk to him about it or if it’s even appropriate to talk to him about it?

How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?

Answered by on -

A.

 Thank you for writing in spite of the discomfort you are feeling about the subject.

Please understand that therapists generally have a great deal of experience with issues such as yours. People who have been abused often struggle to regain the comfort with their own bodies — and with sex — that is everyone’s birthright. Your therapist will not be shocked or upset or judgmental.

I suggest that you simply take your letter and this response to your next session as a way to venture into a topic that is difficult for you. You and your therapist will then decide together how best to address your fears.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). How Do I Talk to My Therapist about My Fear of Sex?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/10/01/how-do-i-talk-to-my-therapist-about-my-fear-of-sex/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.