By all accounts, I should be highly successful. I know this because people who don’t know me that well are always impressed by me. I am fairly good looking, have a high IQ, am witty, charming, can strike a conversation with anyone on anything and can come up with solutions fast.
The problem I am facing is that each day I move through life like a zombie. I am failing at every aspect of my life which shocks me because I should be doing very well. I don’t earn enough to feed my dog, and always quarreling with my wife about money, don’t bother helping out with the housework and kids.
I just don’t do anything and I can’t figure out why. The main issue is my job. I am a salesman and by all account should be excellent at it. I know my products extremely well and can be extremely convincing about it. But I do not see a single customer everyday. Instead, when people are around I look busy but when I am alone I goof off watching tv or playing video games.
I am so stressed out by my lack of money and piling bills but I am not making any effort to do anything at all to earn money. It is like there is two people inside of me. One who is worried about the way my life is going and the other, which is controlling my body who does not give a damn.
I’ve read self help books, listened to motivational videos, meditated, prayed, done almost everything I know but nothing seems to work. I am going through each day like a zombie.
What’s shocking me is that what I need to do to earn a living is actually very easy. it is something I should by all accounts be awesome at. If I would just move, me and my family would be living the life of our dreams. But I am not moving. I know what I need to do but I just can’t make myself do it.
It is not because of fear. It could be that I am just plain lazy. But whatever it is I need to find a way out of this. I’m at my wits end. I’m 43 and my family is suffering. I don’t know how to get unstuck. (From Malaysia)Feeling Paralyzed Everyday
Feeling Paralyzed Everyday
I’d begin by taking a deeper dive into understanding your character strengths and how to use them. Here is a link to the VIA character strength survey. This will help you identify your top strengths. Research has shown that knowing and applying your strengths is a way to move yourself forward in life by enhancing your confidence in a variety of situations. I think this is a good place to start.