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12-Year-Old Son Wears His Sisters Underwear & Make Up

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From the U.S.: I found numerous pairs of my daughters underpants and a couple bras in my 12 year old sons room. I have also caught him playing with our make up and putting on mascara. When I questioned him about this he said he sometimes wears the under garments. I’m not sure what to make of this. When he was 4 he loved to wear his sisters undies, but I chalked it up to being a 4 year old. I don’t know if this is something he has just started doing again or if he’s hid it well through the years. I’m not sure what to make of this or how I should handle it. I didn’t shame him or get angry with him. Do I just ignore it and hope it stops, do I tell him it’s not ok, do I seek further help? I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop worrying there is something wrong.

12-Year-Old Son Wears His Sisters Underwear & Make Up

Answered by on -

A.

Good for you for not shaming or blaming. As a preteen, your son is in the beginning stages of determining his sexuality. Parental positive attitude and support are central to helping him develop a healthy sense of self.

Your son, you and his father may need assistance on this journey. I suggest you contact your local Pride Collective and Community Center. They offer family therapy and support for a wide range of concerns. Information can be found on their website: http://www.pridecollective.com/.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

12-Year-Old Son Wears His Sisters Underwear & Make Up

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). 12-Year-Old Son Wears His Sisters Underwear & Make Up. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/09/27/12-year-old-son-wears-his-sisters-underwear-make-up/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.