Thank you for writing. It’s the next step in taking care of yourself. The first step was talking to good friends who know you well and who gave you some good advice. The second step was acknowledging to yourself that you do need some help. Now it’s time to go forward with the next important step — talking to your mom.
I suggest you share your letter and this response with your mom. You did a fine job articulating your concerns and feelings. Wait for a moment when things are calm between you and you both have some uninterrupted time to talk. Then ask her to read the letter. Follow up with an honest explanation of how you are feeling and a request to see a mental health counselor for an evaluation.
A counselor will help you focus on ways that you can manage your feelings and develop the life skills you need to have the lifestyle you want. With your permission, the counselor will also include your mother in some sessions to help you be more comfortable talking with each other. This is especially important during the teen years while you are going through significant growth and changes.
I wish you well.