I’m taking medications for several years. I had psychosis. Now I feel good. People usually find me very funny and think I’m good company. Problem is when I want to ask some girl out I just freeze. I don’t know what she would say about my problem when she finds out. Eventually I have to tell that and it is very difficult. I know that you have to go step by step. I always think in long term. Maybe that particular girl will not even go to second date with me. The fact that I’m taking medications is limiting me and in my country this is still taboo topic. I created comfort zone and life without risk so I just don’t ask girls out. I have feeling I didn’t realize my potential. I never give even 20 percent in anything I do. I just can’t relax. Please help. (From Slovenia)
I deeply admire your courage in asking this question and talking about your concerns. The easiest way to move forward with this is to keep this idea of asking a woman out more manageable — not some make-it-or-break-it event. The best way to do this is to invite the her to join you — you are going for tea or coffee and you would like for her to join you. This is a different approach than putting such an emphasis on”going out.” By saying you are going for a drink and inviting her you are letting her know you have a plan for yourself and that you would like her to come along. If she says no, your plans have not changed. If she says yes, then you know she is interested. This limits both the degree to which you might feel rejected, and the pressure of having a more formal “date.”
Building up small encounters that allow both of you to get to know one another in a non-threatening way lets you build a foundation where talking about each of your vulnerabilities may be easier.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Taking Medications — Big Burden. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/09/17/taking-medications-big-burden/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.