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Was This Just Social Anxiety?

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From a teen in the U.S.: I went to a party last night that I didn’t know anybody but my brother. I felt like such a loser cuz everyone was communicating and didn’t even notice I was there. Even when I was standing in a group of people this one guy was introducing his self and didn’t even acknowledge me, like I didn’t even exist.

The rest of the party I just t I just sat down and kept drinking drinks in the chance of hoping somehow Things will get better at the party as time passes by < I know that part is social anxiety. but it was just so embarrassing I was literally the only person who was all alone at the party like I really didn't belong and as a girl that also made me feel ugly and like people looked at me like why was I there. Was this all just social anxiety or I didn't fit in and didn't need to be at that party ?

Was This Just Social Anxiety?

Answered by on -

A.

I don’t think it’s social anxiety. And I don’t think you couldn’t fit in. I do think you need to do some work on your social skills. Being comfortable interacting with other people is a learned skill. It’s easier for some people than for others, it’s true. Some people are just born extroverts. But the rest of us have to learn how to initiate and maintain conversations; how to enter into a situation where other people seem to know each other; and how to be at ease in a crowd.

Instead of sitting all by yourself hoping for someone to notice, you could have joined a group and started acting interested in getting to know other people. Most people respond positively when someone starts showing interest by asking questions and listening attentively. Most people decide someone is interesting when that person is interested in them.

Read up on communication and social skills. Talk to your brother about how to connect with his friends. Practice with your own friends and, especially, with friends of friends you meet. Practice does matter. With practice, you too will be able to be comfortable in settings where you don’t yet know another person there. Remember: Strangers are often friends you just haven’t met yet.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Was This Just Social Anxiety?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Was This Just Social Anxiety?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 25, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/09/03/was-this-just-social-anxiety/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.