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I Stopped Loving My Daughter

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I stopped loving my daughter. I usually live alone with her thousands of miles from my family and her father. Usually my whole life is devoted to her, who is just turning ten years old. I am a bipolar2 and a borderline 50 years old woman. I struggle being a mother with mental health issues. Now she’s in europe, visiting my family and her father, and I don’t want her back. Suddenly, in the past three weeks, I stop having any feeling whatsoever for her. I even try to picture her in pain, or crying, to see if it would stir any emotion in me, but instead I feel nothing, like I have never loved her. I’m in a panic, she’s due back in a month and I just can’t face her, I’m scared I would make her life miserable if she was to come back to me.

I Stopped Loving My Daughter

Answered by on -


I very much appreciate you sharing your struggle. My best guess is that it is hard for you to control your feelings and the fact that your emotions are shut off and on the other end of the spectrum of how you usually feel may indicate that it is hard for you to regulate your discomfort.

Given the diagnoses you’ve mentioned this makes sense to me. I would recommend some personal therapy beginning immediately so that you can prepare for her return. Shutting your feelings off may be your way of defending against the pain of missing her.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Stopped Loving My Daughter

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Stopped Loving My Daughter. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 25, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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