I think that you identified the main problem when you wrote the following: “I’m still uncomfortable around my therapist since we’ve only just started.” That makes perfect sense. You don’t know him very well yet. It is uncomfortable to discuss your most intimate thoughts with a relative stranger. Relationships, therapeutic relationships included, take time to build. The more you and he work together, the more you will learn trust him and his advice.
In addition to having only just met him, three sessions ago, you have social anxiety. The nature of social anxiety is being uncomfortable around other people, especially people who you don’t know very well. The social anxiety might make therapy more difficult for you, compared to someone without the added social anxiety.
You may not see it this way but the fact that you have shared your suicidal thoughts with him is major progress. That had to be difficult for you but you did it. That’s a step in the right direction.
Yes, you should address this problem with your therapist. Your feelings are perfectly natural and he’ll know how to help. One key to success in therapy, is honesty. Being honest will make it easier for him to understand what’s wrong and advise you accordingly.
The next time you have a therapy session, simply say you have something you would like to discuss and proceed to tell him what you wrote in this letter. You might even show him the letter you wrote to us. It articulately and succinctly outlines your concerns and it would give him a deeper understanding about what you are thinking. You are off to great start. Keep up the good work. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle