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Feeling Sad for Having No Friends

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From a teen in Australia: I have been having no friends since I was young. I was always alone in school when I was in primary school and I used to feel embarrassed about it so sometimes I would hide in the toilet so that peers won’t see that I am having no friends. I was lucky in secondary school that some classmates accept me to be their friend. However when I come to university, I don’t have friends again.

It makes me feel sad particularly when I see others become so close to each other as friends while I never get to be close with anyone. My relationship with people is always so superficial and it never gets deep. To be honest, I really crave for the friendship or even romantic relationship and I think this has been the biggest dream of my life. But right now I am feeling hopeless about it.

Sometimes, when I am socializing with others, I just feel so sad as I think we won’t be friends. We are just superficial ‘friends’. But I always have to pretend that I am happy. Do you have any advice on how I can change this lifelong situation to have more close friends?

Feeling Sad for Having No Friends

Answered by on -

A.

I suspect you are expecting too much too soon. I’m concerned that you are so worried about getting deeper that you are missing the opportunity to let relationships grow organically and naturally. The story you are telling yourself about your inability to make friends may have become what is called a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I think a few sessions with a therapist might be helpful. With such a discouraging history with relationships, you may need some coaching is social skills. A skilled professional can help you understand what you do and don’t do that is getting in your way.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Feeling Sad for Having No Friends

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Feeling Sad for Having No Friends. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/08/11/feeling-sad-for-having-no-friends/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.