I don’t think your problem is self-sabotage. I think the problem is that you are unwilling to let things go with this former friend. She has let you know that she isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with her. At this point, it doesn’t matter why. You are both in your teens. Part of the job of being an adolescent is to figure out who we most easily connect with and who we don’t. You tried to repair things and it didn’t work. She isn’t interested in trying again. Let it go.
If you were seeing me for therapy, I’d want to explore with you how you would spend your time and your energy if you did let this go. What would you be thinking about instead? That might tell us why you are staying so busy over-thinking this one relationship. There may be a more important but more difficult issue that you are pushing aside by obsessing about what you did and didn’t do in this one friendship. Please think about it. If you are unable to move on, please do consider seeing a counselor for some help.
I wish you well.