From the U.S.: I am a 24 year old male sociopath. I want to propose to my long term boyfriend. I’m in love with him, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with him.
I’m afraid that I might end up messing the relationship up by going back to old habits: Lying and manipulation. I was also an alcoholic and drug addict as a teenager because it gave me a high and kept me from being bored. My coping methods now aren’t very healthy. I distract myself with social media and stay up until four AM to paint. My only healthy method is running.
I don’t want to slip back into these old habits. What can I do to ensure that I don’t? I really don’t want to lose what me and my boyfriend have together.
You are wise to ask your questions. From my point of view, it is a set up for failure to propose to your boyfriend at this time. You may have stopped drinking and drugging, but you are still in the grip of addictive behaviors. Now the addiction is to social media and to whatever it is that you are doing until 4:00 a.m.
A healthy marriage is dependent on the coming together of 2 healthy people. You say you love your boyfriend enough to want to marry him. I hope you love him enough to want to give him the chance to have a long marriage with a healthy person. That’s not likely to happen as long as you hold onto sociopathic and addictive behaviors.
The running may be a good start. At least it’s a healthy “addiction”. But it is only a start. I strongly urge you to get into therapy and work on developing a more functional lifestyle. You and your boyfriend both deserve a healthy — and happy — you.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
I Am a Sociopath and Plan on Proposing
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Am a Sociopath and Plan on Proposing. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/26/i-am-a-sociopath-and-plan-on-proposing/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.