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Increasing Depression

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From Australia: I’m 40 and was made redundant from my job and can’t find work for the past 18 months. I am unemployable despite having qualifications. My dad past away in September. Can’t find a partner.

This is affecting other parts of my life including getting rid of all my friends and their contact details, not leaving the house unless I have to, being a recluse, not talking to people, attending family functions and not socializing, not doing things that I use to enjoy, always tired, no energy or desire to do anything, I feel helpless, useless, lost all confidence in myself and want to just end it all.

Increasing Depression

Answered by on -

A.

┬áLosing a job and being out of work is a major psychological injury for many people, especially in middle age. I wish you had shared why you think you are unemployable. I don’t think it’s because of your age. The fact is that you are 40, not 60. You still could have a 20 – 25 year career ahead of you. The same is true of finding a partner. I know from my mail that there are wonderful single women who are looking for love. You could have a loving relationship for decades ahead.

Your response to this crisis seems to be depression. For that reason, I urge you to see a therapist to help you manage the loss of both your job and your dad and re-enter the world of the living. It may be that you need to retool in some way or even change your line of work. It may be that you need some help figuring out how to meet potential partners.

Sitting at home feeling helpless isn’t going to improve your situation. If you could have pulled yourself together on your own, you would have done it already. Writing us here at PsychCentral was a good first step toward a better future. Now, please, take the next step and find a counselor who can give you the advice and support you need.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Increasing Depression

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Increasing Depression. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/23/increasing-depression/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.