My boyfriend says he will break up with me if I don’t stop doing this thing that I do. He says it’s my childish attitude but I’ll try to be more specific. This happens when I get my feelings hurt. I deal with my emotions in front of other people and affect them instead of dealing with my emotions in private. I ruin plans or create drama/a scene by either reacting outwardly with my emotions (screaming/throwing a fit but I do that much less than I used to) or I react passively where I still show that I am upset but instead of being just plain aggressive, I am passive aggressive where I run out of the room drawing attention to me and I affect those around me and often ruining the vibe/good time. I do the latter of the two the most.
I came home to hang out with my bf and his friend, got upset over something minor, and locked myself in the bathroom for a while pretending to take a shower and then walked out the door and went on an hour long walk while they waited for me to come hang out. I think I justify my behavior as okay because by itself when I’m alone, it’s alright but it’s bad when I affect other people.
My boyfriend and I were going to the store and he said something about finances that I perceived as hurtful and so I changed plans and said I wasn’t going to the store and walked out of the room before he could respond. He says I torture and punish him emotionally and I normally say I don’t intend to but maybe I do subconsciously?
Being at a party, someone says something hurtful and instead of dealing with the hurt at home in solitude, I leave the conversation in a rush and go to the bathroom and cry and then come back and act like nothing happened after making a scene.
I am now becoming aware of this even though I have done it for years. It’s embarrassing and I do it almost everyday. How do I stop? What is a new approach? What is something new I could do instead of reacting this way? How can I be more aware of when this is about to happen?