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Is There Anything I Can Do for My Boyfriend Who Has Depression?

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I’ve been dating with my boyfriend for few months. I recently found out that he is struggling with depression and he wants me to leave him so I don’t get hurt from it. I sincerely love him and I would like to help him in every way possible but he refuses to open about his feeling to anyone even to his own therapist.

When I’m with him in person, giving hugs, showing him that I’m always there for him, he gets better temporarily but after a while, he shows his break up line again. Currently, he is in different country and he talks about breaking up more often than usual, which frustrates me so much. Since he asked me for some personal space, I made sure he has some, but he still says that his life is unhappy.

Is there anything I can do? Please help me.

Is There Anything I Can Do for My Boyfriend Who Has Depression?

Answered by on -

A.

 As hard as it may be to accept your boyfriend has told you three things by him wanting you to leave. First, he is telling you that he isn’t going to change. This is important. If he doesn’t believe he can change, then I would accept that as the truth.

Secondly, he is telling you that he isn’t going to be the one to end it. If you continue to stay he will not have the wherewithal to leave — you’ll have to do it. Finally, he is telling you that if you do stay he will be waiting for you to leave.

None of these things bode well for a future relationship together. Since it is early on in your dating I would accept that he isn’t ready to be a full partner in an intimate relationship.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Is There Anything I Can Do for My Boyfriend Who Has Depression?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Is There Anything I Can Do for My Boyfriend Who Has Depression?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/19/is-there-anything-i-can-do-for-my-boyfriend-who-has-depression/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.