From England: I have a good job that I (kinda) enjoy but recently I feel like everyone that I work with is waiting for me to mess up. I don’t have much confidence in myself as it and always feel like everyone is judging me. When I am doing good and I feel like I’ve achieved something someone always tell me that it was wrong or I did a rubbish job and then I feel really bad and sad.
When I was at school I used to bottle up all my emotions and just lash at out at myself and cut myself or harm myself in some way and I feel like that’s happening again, like everything is just pushing down on my shoulders and wanting me to drop back into that point in my life.
Also when I’m at home I prefer to be alone in my room (but then I get called lazy) because my older brother says stuff that makes me feel bad about myself and calls me names, but he doesn’t realize how it makes me feel. Once at school I stopped eating for a week because I was getting called names but no one cared. When I’m around people I prefer to be alone but when I’m alone I want to be with people.
When I finish a shift at work all I do is sleep when I get home and then get ready to go to work again. I don’t have any time I do anything I want to do because everyone wants me to cook for them or stay in while they go out. I feel like screaming or breaking down and I just feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I don’t know what to do.There Is Too Much Weight on My Shoulders
There Is Too Much Weight on My Shoulders
Thank you for taking the time to write us here at PsychCentral. You have listed your age as 23, and I believe the primary goal should be getting out from your living circumstance as it sounds like it isn’t offering you a place to flourish. I realize this may not be something you can do quickly or immediately, but having the eventual goal to find a place to live that is more conducive to your well-being is important.
While I certainly believe individual or group therapy will be helpful I think there are some self-help books that might give you some skills for coping and growing. Our own Marie Hartwell Walker has a wonderful book, Unlocking The Secrets Of Self Esteem, that I think you will find quite useful. Here is an introductory video about her work.