advertisement
Home » Ask the Therapist » Have I Found a Sociopathic Friend? And Why Do They Keep Attracting Me?

Have I Found a Sociopathic Friend? And Why Do They Keep Attracting Me?

Asked by on with 1 answer:

So I have a so called “friend” who, I think, shows some sociopathic qualities. She is very charming, friendly and what not. She only calls me when she needs something, but when I call her I get no response.

Red flag #1: Every time we go out (bar or restaurant) she gets very offensive with fellow patrons and employees of the establishments.
Red flag #2: Each time I tried to calm her down in these situations, she would get physical with me and verbally aggressive. This last time, she attacked my character when I was taking her home after she verbally attacked a fellow patron at the bar. When we got to her place she apologized and invited me to stay the night.
Red flag #3: She is constantly taking pictures, even when I try to have a conversation with her.

Have I Found a Sociopathic Friend? And Why Do They Keep Attracting Me?

Answered by on -

A.

¬†According to your letter, she is physically and verbally aggressive. She only wants to go out when it’s convenient for her. She doesn’t seem to care much for your needs and isn’t bothered by attacking people. You have described someone who is abusive. Whether or not she is sociopathic is difficult to determine without more information.

You mentioned that people like her are attracted to you. It may be that these kinds of people see you as an easy target, someone easy to abuse. I would need more information to know if that is true. If you continually find yourself around these types of people, the way you behave might be attracting them. Consider consulting a therapist to examine this issues in more depth. A therapist would be able to determine what part you play, if any, in attracting these types of people and how to have healthy relationships.

Choose wisely with whom you spend your time. Don’t allow people to abuse you and treat you badly. You asked the question: why am I attracted to sociopathic people? The better question is: Why would you allow yourself to be abused by sociopathic people?

Counseling can help you know what a healthy relationship should be like and how to stop abusive people from coming into your life. Please take care.

Have I Found a Sociopathic Friend? And Why Do They Keep Attracting Me?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Have I Found a Sociopathic Friend? And Why Do They Keep Attracting Me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/12/have-i-found-a-sociopathic-friend-and-why-do-they-keep-attracting-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 12 Jul 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.