From Albania: Hello and thank you for reading this. Last July, my brother got married to the love of his life. They had been together for 10 years (since he was 20 and she 19), lived together for 2. She was the first and only girl he ever dated and was completely committed to raising a family with her. In November his wife started a new job, and in March this year she left him. He is completely devastated. When it happened, he cut off all relationships and we were not able to see or talk to him for a whole month. At that time he was still hoping that she would go back to him, and was waiting for her at their home. When it became clear that she wouldn’t come back, he moved back home with the family. For 2 weeks, he would just lay in bed staring at the ceiling, and couldn’t sleep at night. My mother and I stayed close to him and whenever he wanted to, we would talk and discuss what had happened with him. At least he started to go to work. He is a very introverted person, and he had invested so much in that relationship at the expense of other relationships in his life. He has very few friends and he is not really close to family members. It seemed that things got a bit better. He started going out at times, and he started sleeping again. It has been 3 months since, but he is not capable of moving on. He has shut down again, doesn’t want to talk to us, doesn’t go out, has no interest on anything. We are trying to convince him to see a psychologist, but he won’t go. He feels that his life has no meaning any more and he feels like he is suffocating in this life. He thinks now, that the only solution would be to move to some other country and start a new life. How can we help him? What else can we do to make him see that there is still life ahead? What can we say to him? Thank you in advance.Brother Depressed After Break-Up
Brother Depressed After Break-Up
I appreciate how difficult it is to watch a loved one become so despondent. I would respect the fact that he may need some time to lick his wounds and ground himself. However, I would continue to encourage and offer him opportunities to join you for lunch, movies, a party. Your love and nurturance of his feelings will become a beacon of light through his darkness.
Encourage him to go for a walk with you, perhaps take a yoga or meditation class together. The key is to be connected through your relationship with him. He may need to be inspired by your joint activity initially.