Hello, Over approximately the last year and a half I feel as I have become a very unstable person. I am constantly becoming angry over very little things and sometimes I notice that I am angry for no reason at all. It is usually a very intense anger and I feel as it controls me and I mostly cannot control it. It is like every little thing sets me off into a rage and I make very poor decisions such as punching something, breaking something or throwing something. I have punched three holes into the walls of my house and have broken more things than I can count. I have also been having a constant feeling of emptiness, it is hard to describe but it literally feels like something is missing from inside me and nothing can fill it. Sometimes if I drink alcohol the feeling subsides but sometimes it can make it worse to. But nothing else I have tried make the feeling go away.
I have also developed some very bad habits such as spending money on things I don’t need even when I know I cannot afford it. Another bad habit is the way that I drive. It is like I am rushing every time I go somewhere even when I don’t need to rush. I am always speeding way over the speed limit, I am swerving between cars and again I feel like I cannot control myself because whenever I drive like a normal person I somehow end up becoming angry that I am not going fast enough, then the rage comes up and I start to drive really reckless.
I also have been distancing myself from some of my really close friends and almost all of my family for no reason. When my friends ask me to go out I make up some excuse why I can’t and then I sit in my room. When my mom texts me asking about my day or really anyone in my family tries to engage in a conversation with me, I completely end the conversation because I for some reason cannot bring myself to talk with them. I am 20 years old so I understand that I’m not just “at that age”. I am an adult and I feel like I have no control over any of this.
I agree – this isn’t an age thing—this is a self-regulation thing. Each symptom you have identified is something that would be helped through a degree of self control or self regulation.
You profile said that you are in college—so I would talk to the people at the counseling center to get some individual therapy to help you develop the skill to regulate these reactions. Along the way I would encourage you to take a meditation or yoga class. These will help you as well.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Am Always Angry and Sometimes for No Reason. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/08/i-am-always-angry-and-sometimes-for-no-reason/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 8 Jul 2016) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.