It’s good that you’re seeking help. It shows that you’re open to change. With the right help, you can change your behavior.
You mentioned medication but not counseling. Counseling could be the missing component in your treatment program. Not having tried counseling could be why you’re not seeing an improvement. Cognitive behavioral therapy is an effective treatment for anger problems, as are certain types of targeted anger management therapies. Medication could help, but it may not be enough. You should try counseling.
You might also try family counseling to address the problems with your children. Clearly you are influencing their behavior. Your behavior has become their behavior. Family therapy can be quite effective in changing these dynamics and behaviors. It could help a great deal.
Regarding your specific question about children exposed to traumatic experiences, there are several effective treatments. Two models that have been shown to work include: Child-Parent Psychotherapy and Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Finding clinicians who specialize in these specific types of therapy might be difficult. Generally speaking, choose a mental health professional who has demonstrated success in treating children who have experienced trauma. Ask your psychiatrist for a referral or click the “Find Help” tab at the top of this page to locate a therapist in your community.
When trying to pick a therapist I always advise calling at least 5 to 10. Speak to them on the phone about the problems with which you would like help. Ask questions about their success rates and how they’ve helped other people with similar problems. Choose the one with whom you best connect with, over the phone, and meet him or her in person for a more in-depth discussion. This will help you find the right therapist for you and/or your children. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle