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Can Verbal Abuse Make It Hard for a Person to Trust Others

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From India: My friend and i have been friends for over 12 years. We have been through all the highs and lows of life together. We have always been there for each other.

I am a person who expresses her feelings often so i end up saying how fond i am of her and how thankful i am for her. She does not say anything in return but i know as we have been together for the last 12 years that the feelings are mutual .

However i wonder sometimes if her failed marriage and the constant verbal abuse which she has been facing constantly has something to do with her being in her shell and not being able to express herself or her feelings. She is currently not separated from her husband but he has moved out from the house at his own will. He abuses her verbally and she has alot of problems with her inlaws. She almost had a break down last year but now she is fine

I need to know if verbal abuse and failed marriage trauma can upset a person to such a extend that the person finds it difficult to love other people, trust other people and express themselves.

regards

Can Verbal Abuse Make It Hard for a Person to Trust Others

Answered by on -

A.

The simple answer to your question is “yes”. When someone has been badly hurt by someone she trusted, the outcome can be as you describe. The person is afraid to trust again because she believes that she will be hurt again. Often the person keeps a certain, carefully calibrated distance from others in order to feel safe.

One way to help your friend is to continue as you have been doing. Be there for her. Love her. Show her that you will not betray her trust or hurt her. Over time, she may be able to take the risk to be more open with you. Hopefully, she will also get some professional support to help her recover from the abuse by her husband and in-laws.

I wish you both well.
Dr. Marie

Can Verbal Abuse Make It Hard for a Person to Trust Others

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Can Verbal Abuse Make It Hard for a Person to Trust Others. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/07/04/can-verbal-abuse-make-it-hard-for-a-person-to-trust-others/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.