For a long time I’ve thought people or things were talking to me when no one is there or that i can feel them talking to me or pushing me to do what they want. I’m afraid people can hear what i’m thinking and they’re all just trying to hide it from me. I get really like this when i’m near mirrors. I’ve attempted suicide twice, I cant stay happy for more than a few hours at a time, I cant focus I only get 3 or maybe 4 hours of sleep at a time tops and it keeps me from doing and I’m too exhausted to work most times. Everyone at work wants me fired and i’m sure they’re all talking about it when i’m not around. My relationship with my family is bad and i don’t think they really like me very much either. I went to a therapist for three years and I lied every time he asked a question. I’m too scared if he knows something bad will happen. Most times when I was young (and even now) parents or authority figures would be scolding me or asking questions and I couldn’t force myself to answer and they’d get angry with me and then I’d get even worse. I’ve had violent thoughts frequently and I can’t control them. I just want to know whats wrong with me.I Don’t Understand What’s Wrong with Me
I Don’t Understand What’s Wrong with Me
Paranoia is one possibility. You might also be experiencing delusions and hallucinations. These symptoms are associated with psychotic disorders.
Alternatively, your symptoms might be the result of your getting so little sleep. Not getting enough sleep can cause mood instability, emotional hypersensitivity and in extreme cases, psychotic-like experiences. Studies show that our mental faculties are not as sharp and are potentially faulty, when experiencing the loss of sleep.
It’s difficult to know what’s wrong based on only a small amount of information. It’s important that you undergo an in-person evaluation, by a mental health professional, and to be truthful. Your therapist probably couldn’t help you because you were not honest with him, by your own admission. He could not help you, nor can any therapist help you, if you withhold the truth.
Treatments exist for all the problems you have described but you must be honest with your treating professionals about your symptoms. Otherwise, your symptoms will worsen and significantly diminish the quality of your life. All of your distressing symptoms can go away with the help of a professional. No professional would ever think badly of you when you tell the truth. These professionals have spent many years in school getting an education because they want to help people with problems just like yours.
Seek emergency assistance if you feel as though you might harm yourself or someone else. Emergency help can protect you from doing something you would later regret. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle