Hello! Since i was a kid i always had problems of making friends. I travelled a lot, went to summer camps in Europe, prestige ones, graduated a good university(bachelor degree). But i always had the same problem: at some point i was becoming a person no one paid interest to or even tried to ignore me. Sometimes it even turn to fights… When i turned 18 i have found a couple of very good friends and we were drinking every weekend. didnt pay attention to health issues and many times (about 10) drank till blacking out… couldnt control myself and felt completely happy while being drunk. I also was smoking marihuana for about half a year. Ive never had a girlfriend(not because i am an unattractive, but my behavior) . The second problem i face–i cant concentrate at all. Since i was very young i have lost like 10 cell phones, credit cards, wallets, driver license, laptops. And i really hate myself for this. I tried many different sports(triathlon, half-marathon, boxing) for building precision, watched 100-s of TED talks, took some courses in coursera but seems like it getting worse and worse. Friends and family call me lazy,moony etc. While studying i distract every 5-7 minutes. To enter this question i spend like 3 hours. But sometimes feel very energetic, enthusiastic for a couple minutes. I jump, shout and feel like a champion. And i cant really predict this or control. Especially when i listen to the music.
I stopped drinking alcohol for 3 month and do not plan to continue. I believed that i can start a new life and become a normal concentrated person within 3 month of writing down all my activities in my diary and analyze it weekly. To sum up 4 hours a day on average i spend in a “focused mode”. But after 1 week of having a rest i returned to the previous version of mine. During these 3 month i cried a lot, punched myself in a face, tried to die while doing sports.
Time goes faster and my mental power is reducing. I forget things more often and sleep more.
In the period from 8 to 16 years old my daddy used to punish me physically and was shouting at me probably everyday.
I really want to switch but seems like i cant find an appropriate tool for it by myself.
These are complex issues that require the assistance of a mental health professional. Mental health professionals undergo years of rigorous training to treat these types of problems. It would be the wise thing to do.
When choosing a mental health professional, it’s best to call at least five to 10 of them and speak with them about the issues with which you want help. Ask specific questions about your concerns such as what specific treatment(s) they would recommend.
You can also ask if they’ve helped other people with similar problems. If you can find a professional with whom you have a strong connection, they would be your choice. You might choose one who specializes in ADHD and depression. You might also consider being evaluated by a psychiatrist for medication. Medication might help with your concentration issues.
In the meantime, if you can, you should stop using drugs and alcohol. They will intensify your problems. Using these substances will make it more difficult to correct the problems in your life. Psychologically healthy people don’t use drugs or alcohol. It reduces the quality of their lives and causes problems. If you can stop, you should do so immediately. Trying on your own has not helped. It’s time to let professionals help you, something they do with success everyday. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
ADHD, Depression, Communication Problems & Stress
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
Randle, K. (2018). ADHD, Depression, Communication Problems & Stress. Psych Central.
Retrieved on December 1, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/06/30/adhd-depression-communication-problems-stress/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 30 Jun 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.