From Spain: I have a friend that asked me to come over and spend some time with him after he finished his first – very important – exam in the ‘high school’ he goes to. I noticed how he looks so depressed as he wants to say something then at some point. He opened the conversation with me and started telling me almost all his problems about exams, college, money and future. I told him to rest from his tension and have some time with himself but he told me that he only wants to sleep (but I don’t think that was the only thing he wanted to say) so I said “I am glad you told me about yourself but I think you still have to stop thinking about all that stuff and remember that there is new day and there will be always a sun shining everyday”. And that was the end of the conversation but I still think he wants something else except sleeping and resting. Can you help me please?
Your friend is lucky to have you in his corner. Your deep concern for him and wanting to follow up is the most important factor in a friendship. He knows you are there and that is the essence of a good relationship. Here is an article I’ve written on friendship you might find helpful.
You have done the right thing by being there and trying to calm him. I would keep showing up and being there for him. Sometimes the circumstances don’t change, but people feel better just having someone to talk to about it. You can be that person for your friend.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Want to Help My Friend. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/06/26/i-want-to-help-my-friend/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.