It’s not at all unusual for a person who has been sexually abused to have fears about being touched. It’s not inappropriate for you to continue to be angry. It’s not realistic or appropriate for your father to believe you can just “let go” of what he did to you. His explanation that “alcohol made me do it” is how he is avoiding his responsibility for hurting you. He still owes you a heartfelt apology.
You can’t afford to wait for that apology to get on with your own life. It may never come. Even if he did apologize, you still are left with the consequences of being abused by a man you trusted. The good news is that you can heal without his apology, permission or participation.
You’ve made marked progress in your therapy. I am so glad you found a therapist you can really talk to and work with. Your letter didn’t indicate why you wrote to us here at PsychCentral instead of talking to her about this issue. I’m guessing that discussions about abuse, touch and sex are particularly scary for you and your letter is a first step in dealing with them.
To me, your letter shows you are ready to go to the next level of treatment. You have done impressive and important work so far. You have allowed yourself to trust a therapist and become an active participant in your treatment. Your letter shows you to be intelligent and sensitive. My vote is for you to take a deep breath, find your inner courage, and talk to the therapist who has been so helpful to you. It might help if you shared your letter and this response with the therapist as a way to introduce the topic.
From what you told me about your therapy experience so far, I have every reason to believe that your therapist will help you manage these issues with sensitivity and good support.
I wish you well.