Yes, it is something. Although I understand why your parents might think so, cutting isn’t only an outcome of abuse. There are a number of reasons that young people get into the habit of cutting. Often it is a way to relieve stress. Cutting does cause the body to release endorphins and that does help a person feel better — at least temporarily. There are much better ways to get that same relief, but sometimes people don’t know that.
It also gives the person the illusion of having control and it can be a way to distract from emotional pain. And, yes, sometimes it’s a way to get attention or to feel part of a group in which other young people are cutting. One size explanation does not fit all.
I’m reasonably certain that all your pieces “fit” if I knew what all the pieces are. I can’t help you beyond that statement on the basis of a letter. I can only assure you that there are good but mistaken reasons why you got into cutting and why it continues to have some allure.
You say that you can’t get help. I hope that isn’t true. A few sessions with a mental health counselor would probably do much to give you peace of mind and some new tools for handling anxiety.
I wish you well.