From Canada: Starting a new relationship, (we are a month in) and the person I’m with struggles with depression. I have spoken about supporting this person, and taking the journey together, as I want to be a support, and going it alone has not worked so far for this person. Is this the right thing to say? Also, will having sex confuse things for the other person? Is this something we should hold off on, or is it seen as something positive and we should try and add some joy back into this person’s life? This would include going out, playing games, or being intimate… I don’t want to mess this up, so any assistance will be welcome.Starting a New Relationship
Starting a New Relationship
I think you are doing a very good thing for yourself by asking this question. There are several important red flags in your question that I would like to highlight.
First, this one-month relationship has somehow moved into the center of your life and you are now in orbit around this person’s depression. You are talking about supporting the person, going on the journey with them, worried about if sex will confuse them, and if doing it will bring joy back into his or her life.
All of your questions are focused around his or her depression. This isn’t the way to start a healthy relationship. The question you want to ask yourself is if this relationship helps you feel joy AS IT IS. The greatest error people make in a new relationship is thinking it will get better once they help change the other person. This immediately sets up a dynamic where your needs are secondary to the other person’s well-being.
I would not jump into the relationship taking on the responsibility of correcting the other person’s depression. I would first ask if there is enough in the relationship as is — and then make your decisions from there.