How you think and feel about yourself seems biased. For example, you “don’t feel like you have the capacity to think like a normal person.” What are you basing that on? What “normal person” measurement are you using? You might be right or you might not be right. The question is not if you feel normal but if in reality your thoughts and feelings are normal or they are not normal.
None of the opinions that you have expressed about yourself, at least in this letter, are positive. You need more objectivity. A therapist could evaluate your thinking and determine if it’s accurate and realistic. Without objectivity, it’s difficult to know whether your assessment of your thinking is accurate.
Regarding the images you see, these could be related to your negative thinking. You seem to have a pattern of negative thinking which is often indicative of depression and/or anxiety. My recommendation is to have an evaluation by a mental health professional. It’s the most efficient way to address these issues. Ask your primary care physician for a referral to a mental health professional in your community. Choose a specialist in cognitive behavioral therapy. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle