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Irrational Hatred

Asked by on with 1 answer:

Here’s the gist of it. I currently diagnosed with Autism Spectral Disorder, an Anxiety Disorder, and, recently, Impulse Control Disorder. Along with the fact, I would like to know if this sort of thing has been heard of.

For one, I have quite a profound dislike of my dad’s wife, so much so that I almost cannot sort out why. It’s to such an extent that I find talking to her to be painful. My dad isn’t really happy about this but I can’t seem to help it. Likewise, I feel the same way about a cousin (he’s six).

While the dislike is one thing, I seem to want to harm them (this is especially the case in the latter). I know this isn’t right and I don’t act on it but it’s just there and, if the thought to harm isn’t there, it’s a rather violent and bloody image.

I’m not sure why I feel this way and I’m pretty sure the fact that they’re both annoying wouldn’t be calls for the imagery and thoughts there.

Unfortunately, it isn’t always just with them but this always occurs when I’m very upset and not really sure people don’t think of “mauling” people when they are upset.

Is there an explanation for as to why this is?

Irrational Hatred

Answered by on -


I appreciate the courage of speaking up about this and writing us here. There are two things that are important. First, the fact that this is chronically uncomfortable makes it very important. Anything repetitious and unwanted demands attention.Secondly, the fact that you see this reaction as beyond a normal annoyance is important. The fact that you have difficulty regulating it is worth doing something about it.

The Find Help tab at the top of this page can help you find a therapist in your area. If you are working with a therapist already (since you say you have a diagnosis) I would talk about these images and your discomfort. This will help you develop some more skills for self control.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Irrational Hatred

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Irrational Hatred. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 3 Jun 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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