Fifteen is a tough age. It is natural to be very self-conscious at this age, but it sounds like you are more critical of yourself and your physical appearance than I would consider being healthy. We all have flaws and we all have parts of our body that we wish we could change, but it is not healthy to focus on them. Also, I’m sure you have heard the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” This basically means that we can all differ on what we find attractive. When your friends tell you that they like how you look, I’m sure they are speaking from their own perception — so to them, it is the truth. You are being disrespectful of their opinion to argue with them.
I would normally say that you will most likely grow out of this phase and learn to appreciate your good qualities, but I fear your negative feelings are too strong to work through on your own. I would suggest that you seek counseling on the issue because body image problems can lead to bigger, more serious psychological problems if not corrected. Please speak to your parents, your school counselor or your doctor to help you find a therapist or a therapy group. In the meantime, “get out of your head” and enjoy this very important part of your life!
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts