I’m obese but told that I’m not. My moods change based on how people treat or what they say to me. I get annoyed easily. I’m empathetic but act like I don’t know anything. Everything I try to succeed in I fail because I’m not good enough. I waste so much money on beauty supplies but fight the knowledge that it’s just society. I pick zits to the extent of scarring because I can’t stand anything raised on my skin. I’m an INFJ and Pisces. I watch how people judge me and it makes me regret being unique (I try to be different but within reason to what I like in general.) I often wonder why I don’t fit into this world and if there’s another but know deep inside there probably isn’t and I’m wasting time acting like this but can’t help but think of all the wonders. I always have hope for the best but never find it. All of my friends just stop talking to me and always place me on the back burner because they know I’m always there when they need me. I feel overwhelmed
with life. Depression medication always makes me gain massive weight (20lbs in a month) so I don’t take them and anxiety meds won’t be prescribed because of the drug issues within our community to someone who looks like I do (tattoo’s in a rural area.) I feel like I’m supposed to do something great but I don’t know what that is and feel like I won’t know until it’s too late. I must have everything clean and in its spot at all times or I get super frustrated and lose my temper. I focus so much that I lose the concept of anything. I have around 10 major crying fits a year as said from my husband. I don’t feel attractive after having our children in 2012, 2013. I don’t feel successful, everything that is mine has gone to shit and I’ve lost a sense of self. I’m confused by the world and would like to stay tucked away in a forest with a huge fence around the area. Doctors act like they know right what it is “depression” or have no idea but would like me to ‘try’ said medication to see if it helps and it never does. What is wrong with me?!!!!Stares Blankly Outside But Still Comes Up with Nothing
Stares Blankly Outside But Still Comes Up with Nothing
You mentioned that you have taken depression medication. You also feel quite moody. Perhaps you need a mood stabilizer instead of medications that explicitly target depression or anxiety symptoms. Discuss your options with your prescribing physician. A mood stabilizer might help. Sometimes, you need to try a variety of medications before finding the right one. Don’t give up.
You described the problems you have had with medication but nothing about psychotherapy. Too many people overlook or dismiss psychotherapy. Thousands of studies have shown that it is effective for depression and related disorders. I would recommend cognitive behavioral therapy.
You can read more about cognitive behavioral therapy on the Internet, but generally it involves developing problem solving skills and identifying and correcting distorted thinking and beliefs. Unlike other therapies, it tends to focus on the present as opposed to the past. You can find a cognitive behavioral therapist by asking your primary care physician for referral or by utilizing the Find Help tab at the top of this page. Psychology Today is another good resource.
Happiness is possible with the right help. You have yet to explore all aspects of mental health treatment. Counseling should be your next step. I wish you well. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle