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I Want to Build Confidence and Gain Weight

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Hey, I’m suffering here from my skinny body and I cant move on with this issue, last week I had to meet a guy who was talking online with me and had to meet up finally in real life, once I met him and went back home he changed with me I think because of my very skinny body, I don’t know what to do because im really hurting deep inside and I feel like I will never gain weight and have feminine body, also if I were in his situation I would never accept a person with ugly body like me , im writing now and my tears fell down because I really hope I would find confidence and find my beautiful soul , now we are talking to each other but I feel like he doesn’t want to show me that he didn’t accept me or find me different from the image he was thinking about when we didn’t meet up in the last,, I feel his words like something he must do it to not lose his manity and to show me that everything s ok but its not in fact.. he didn’t say to me I miss you or even this he didn’t say anything about our meet up date ,, which make me sure that he didn’t like me , im sorry but I feel down,, if I were a guy I will choose a beautiful girl with a feminine body and nice soul,, I have nothing but nice soul. I don’t blame him for nothing because he try to make me feel like nothing happened bad, but I feel the ignoring and I feel the pain and the way he act make me more sad because he changed , I know this from his words,, he started to act like im his friend not a girlfriend.. I really want to build confidence and to gain weight and to walk without caring about my thin arms and skinny thigh and without caring about not to show my hands cause my fingers is like baby fingers,, every one in my college started call me alien and kidding with me, I laugh with them but inside im crying blood tears honestly. im 37 kilogram and 156 cm and 23 years old. please help me to find my real life. thanks.

I Want to Build Confidence and Gain Weight

Answered by on -

A.

You believe that the male friend you met didn’t like your “very skinny body” but you did not offer any good evidence to support your belief. It might be more accurate to say that you fear it to be true, rather than you know it to be true. It is more likely the case that you came to this conclusion because this is how you see yourself and it is something with which you are dissatisfied. You are unhappy with your body so you think other people are too.

The primary problem is your eating disorder. It is difficult to sustain a healthy relationship when you are battling a life-threatening mental health disorder. Eating disorders deprive the body and brain of their basic nutrients which then clouds your thinking and judgment. Until your eating disorder is in remission and/or eliminated, relationships will continue to be a struggle.

It is imperative that you seek help for your eating disorder. That should be your first order of business. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental health disorders. It should be the problem you address before any other.

Eating disorders are indicative of a person who is dissatisfied with life. For some, it is a way of dealing with the chaos in their lives but there are better ways. Eating disorders are treatable conditions if you are open to treatment. If you are willing, begin treatment immediately. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I Want to Build Confidence and Gain Weight

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). I Want to Build Confidence and Gain Weight. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/05/22/eating-disorder-4/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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