I’m sorry that your fiancé has such severe anxiety and it sounds like she has developed Agoraphobia. Anxiety disorders can be very serious and debilitating, but it is not ok that she is imposing her fears onto you as well. You have every right to be concerned and I would caution you about marrying someone who is making you change your behavior and lifestyle because of her fear, and furthermore, that her family appears to be supporting this.
She needs to get help (therapy and medication) but part of her treatment needs to include couple’s therapy to address how unfair it is that she expects you to change your life to accommodate her illness. I don’t mean to sound unfeeling, but she is controlling you and that is not ok. Your job as a partner is to be empathetic, supportive, and even involved in her care when possible, but it should not require giving up your own life to do so.
If she already has a therapist I would suggest that you attend a few sessions with her. If she doesn’t, I would encourage you to find one that will work with both of you, even if that means finding one willing to come to the house. If your fiancé cannot see how it is too much to expect you to stay home with her all the time, I would reconsider the marriage.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts