From Ireland: Put simply, my partner feels that any issue we have in our relationship are due to my issues (right now she feels it is passive aggressive / codependence / defensiveness) and though I actually do agree, I feel it also ends up being an excuse for her. I have found some articles which outline exactly how I feel she does act which all say she is ’emotionally abusive’ but I don’t know if this is the case or if it is just me making excuses and “play the victim” as she says I do all the time.
Question is, how can you tell which is true, if both are true or if it is indeed just me being defensive and playing victim?How Do You Know if You’re Seeing Things Correctly?
How Do You Know if You’re Seeing Things Correctly?
Thanks for your question. Think of relationships as mutually reciprocal. If everything she is saying about you is true, then the question is: Why did she chose you as a partner? We are drawn to someone that looks like a correction but often manifests the very characteristic we are trying to escape. What I am saying is — she is part of the equation. I highly recommend going to a couples counselor to get an outside view of the dynamics. He or she can give you some perspective on how this dance takes place.