When relationships fail we have a choice: Do we stare at the past and lament the difficulties we’ve encountered — or do we use what went wrong as an opportunity to learn ways of moving forward.
Your question is filled with insight about how poor this relationship has been all along. This is what you must focus on: the fact that you were allowing yourself to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship and let your friends go — and did not confront the fact that he lived at home as a fully grown adult and professed that we never wanted to change. These are the things to learn from as you move forward. By ignoring these warning signs you were giving up much of the control needed to get you out of the relationship sooner. The insight you have now is your guide. It is time to put it to use in developing a new relationship.
Give yourself the opportunity to do something different — learning from your insights. It is time to expand your social network. You can begin by joining one of our forums here to get some support for this transition. This online community can help give you some ideas for moving on.
Your insights are now your guidelines for the future. The first thing to realize is that you need to find and maintain friendships, regardless of whether or not you are in an intimate relationship. The work now is for you to build a support network. This will put you in position to get ready for love again.