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My Boyfriend Wants Me to Date Other Guys

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I have been with my boyfriend for over than three years. Recently he opened up to me about him wanting me to date other guys. He says for him it is about my joy. I don’t want to date others and so does he. However, I feel very annoyed from the idea that he has absolutely no jealousy feelings. I would really want to understand the reason behind this.

My Boyfriend Wants Me to Date Other Guys

Answered by on -


Have you ever heard of a boyfriend encouraging his girlfriend to date other guys for her joy? Neither have I. There are so many things wrong with this that it is hard to know where to begin. First, it assumes the relationship hasn’t been giving you enough joy. He made that assumption on his own without checking with you. If he is really concerned about your joy why didn’t he ask you about your happiness first? Also, it sounds like an attempt at splitting the two of you up — perhaps because he wants to see others for his joy.

Whatever his reason it is time for you to reconsider this relationship and where it is going. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t care enough about you to invest in cultivating intimacy? I’d encourage you to have a frank discussion about this — and if need be have a couples counselor help you. The Find Help tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Boyfriend Wants Me to Date Other Guys

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Wants Me to Date Other Guys. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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