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Visits for Granddaughter

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My husband and I are the guardians for our granddaughter. Her mom is on the street, addicted to heroin. We have tried on and off to have visitation, but our granddaughter has behavioral problems after these visits, and we are afraid our daughter will OD in our bathroom. This morning, my granddaughter woke up crying, saying she’s afraid she’ll never see her mom again. She’s only 4, do we let her visit again? Or will it hurt my granddaughter in the long run? Please help.

Visits for Granddaughter

Answered by on -

A.

First, let me say how much I admire you stepping in with your granddaughter. I appreciate the level of caring that you bring to a difficult situation. Part of this may be a legal issue — so I will encourage you to get a legal opinion as well. Often legal and psychological opinions conflict. That being said, I am assuming the reason you are the guardians is because your daughter is incapable of adequately performing her duties as a mom. If you daughter is such a high risk, then inviting her into the home for visit that causes your daughter so much distress isn’t advisable from a psychological perspective.

I’d advocate for using FaceTime or Skype where you can monitor the interaction. This will mean that your daughter will have to put some effort into making the call. Since you are right there you will be able to monitor it. This will allow for some contact, monitored interaction — without you worrying that your daughter will OD.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Visits for Granddaughter

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Visits for Granddaughter. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/05/14/visits-for-granddaughter/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.