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Fiancée Went Through Photos

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Inadvertently, my memory card containing 600 photos was placed in fiancée’s phone. She went through all of them (something I have not done) and found a picture from 6 years ago of an ex-girlfriend in a bathing suit. She is mad that I did not go through photos previously and delete. She feels disrespected.

I am also very angered. It is my opinion that upon seeing the disk did not belong to her she should have removed it. Also, the picture is 6 years old and I have not spent the time going through the ones on phone storage and cloud backups of which I have redundancy.

When I picked up her phone and found an old picture of an ex, I asked her to delete it. She said no because she did not think it as inappropriate. I know she is right in her feelings but she consistently plays victim.

I am really reconsidering wedding. Am I overacting?

Fiancée Went Through Photos

Answered by on -


No, you’re not overreacting. A six-year-old 600-photo memory chip with a long forgotten image is being used as a lightening rod for some other dissatisfaction. I wouldn’t pretend to know what that might be, but her overreaction is a curious one. This coupled with your request for her to remove her image and her refusal because she didn’t see it as a problem mean it is time to reconsider the trust and respect level in the relationship.

I’d recommend finding a couples counselor to help you sort this through. The “Find help” tab at the top of this page can help you find one in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Fiancée Went Through Photos

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Fiancée Went Through Photos. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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