I’m not familiar with the mental health services in your country, but in the United States many communities have community mental health centers. Most of these centers will treat clients for a small fee and, in some cases, free of charge. Fees are based upon an individual’s income. Those are the kind of services you need to search for in your country.
I’m afraid that without professional help, your instability will continue. When it comes to psychosis, it’s always best to prevent it. Some research suggests that every psychotic episode causes brain damage. People who have repeated psychotic episodes often find it difficult to return to their previous level of functioning. Each psychotic episode lowers their baseline. You must do whatever is necessary to prevent your developing psychosis.
The fact that you repeatedly start and stop your antipsychotic medication is worrisome. When an individual abruptly stops taking their antipsychotic medication, psychosis can develop.
You might not be able to tolerate certain antipsychotic medications, but there are others you may not have tried that could work better for you.
It’s imperative that you find a mental health professional to treat your symptoms. Even though you have the best intentions, you might be doing more harm than good. Do whatever is necessary to find good mental health care. Your brain health depends on it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle