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Moved to Be Near My Son But It’s Not Working

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Moved to another state left everything for my son who moved here bf me. He lives with dad and stepmom. Been a nightmare since I moved here. Now I have no job, no money, no family support. My friend back home said he’ll get me home, he sends money and not a plane or bus ticket. I’m so sad and hurt, haven’t caused issues for the ex and his new wife, just wanted to be here for my son’s senior year. I cry everyday! (age 44, from US)

Moved to Be Near My Son But It’s Not Working

Answered by on -

A.

I’m sorry that after making such a big sacrifice to be near your son it doesn’t seem to be working out well for you. On the up side, if you moved to be near him for his senior year, that should be completed soon since it is now spring. If you choose to stay you should only have a couple more months at this point. However, if you choose to go back home, you can rest assured that you tried to do what you felt was right and then shift your focus to making plans to come back out for his graduation or to help him transition to college.

Again, if you choose to stay and see this through, you have to immerse yourself into the present situation and stay busy. If you are having trouble finding a job, ask for help from the local employment office or sign up with some temp agencies. If nothing else is working out, contact the United Way or local hospitals and look into volunteer opportunities. This will not only keep you busy mentally and physically, but it will provide wonderful networking opportunities. I have found that most of us can endure quite a bit of stress when we know that it is temporary and there is an end in sight.

My final thought is for you to speak openly and candidly with your son about how much you wanted to be here, but that it’s not working out for you. If he is a senior in high school, he may have the maturity level to see the bigger picture and support you in doing what is best for you. Whatever course you take, I wish you luck.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

 

Moved to Be Near My Son But It’s Not Working

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Moved to Be Near My Son But It’s Not Working. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/04/21/moved-to-be-near-my-son-but-its-not-working/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.