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I Lack the Feeling of Embarrassment

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From the U.S.: I’m 30 and have never experienced the feeling of being embarrassed or shame. I constantly read and see the word (embarrassment) in books or TV, but I have never identified with it. When growing up, I actually thought the feeling of anger (which I experience quite often) and the feeling of embarrassment were one and the same thing. I now realize from my past that in situations were I was supposed to feel embarrassed such as when I was bullied or ridiculed, I only felt anger.

Just to make things clear, I DO feel empathy, love, hate, jealousy, anger and probably all other feelings out there but for the feeling of shame or embarrassment.

I consider myself healthy both in mind and in body but I am trying to decide on whether it is necessary to see a Psychiatrist for an evaluation. Is my condition common and does it have a name? Should I be concerned?

Thank you all very much in advance and I will really love to hear your feedback.

I Lack the Feeling of Embarrassment

Answered by on -


It’s just possible that you are really one of the lucky people who has never done anything to be ashamed of. It does happen.

And anger at bullies rather than embarrassment is a healthy response indeed. It’s the bullies who should be feeling shame.

It may be that your experience as a victim when you were young taught you that anger was a more helpful response than embarrassment. You therefore learned to transform all embarrassed feelings to anger. That’s only an educated guess. I’d need to know more about you to say more.

Since you describe yourself as fully able to experience the full range of other emotions, I’m not worried about you. However, I do think it would be helpful for you to expand your response repertoire to include embarrassment when it is appropriate. A psychiatrist isn’t likely to help you with that these days since their jobs usually require them to limit their sessions to a very short time and to focus on pharmacology. I suggest you instead contact a local licensed psychologist, social worker or mental health counselor to talk it over. They will have the ability to hear your entire story instead of only the 200+ words of your letter.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Lack the Feeling of Embarrassment

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Lack the Feeling of Embarrassment. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 5, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 19 Apr 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.