From Sweden: I apologize in advance as I know this question has been asked, but I feel like I have not gotten the answer I’m looking for.
What leads me to suspect I have at least traits of BPD:
-Impulsivity: I have been impulsive since I was a child.I binge-eat, (purge), I’ve had unprotected sex, impulsive romantic interests, I chose what I wanted to work with on impulse, it’s hard to stop the impulsivity, etc.
-Fear of abandonment: If my friends are short with me; if they don’t pay attention to me; if they text without smileys; if my girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts fast enough; if people don’t laugh at my jokes, I’ll be convinced they’re leaving me. I’ve pulled and clung to my friend so she wouldn’t “leave”.
-Identity crisis: I have no idea what I want to do with my life (granted, I am only 18 years old!) but one day I want to work with something, the next day it’s something completely different. One day I’ll say I believe in something, the next day my view is changed.
-Emotional instability: Sometimes I have intense mood swings where I am very frustrated/irritable and then laugh and cry hystercally without any warning. During those times, I talk too fast, and I make no sense. I say things I don’t mean. And I can be cruel. Other times, I feel empty.
-I idealize people when I first meet them and then after a while, without warning, I have this intense anger and hatred toward them. It’s over trivial things, too. I will “hate” my girlfriend for nothing and I’ll be moody/passive aggressive or quiet around her and then other times I will be completely in love with her and never want to break up with her.
-I took the tests on this site and both of them tell me BDP is [severely] likely.
Things that lead me to believe I do not have [traits of] BDP:
-My friends say I’m overreacting
-I am not paranoid
-My relationships have been intense and quick, but not unstable in the sense that we fight a lot.
-I have difficulty controlling my anger SOMETIMES, like most people I would think
-I perceive people with BPD to be more unstable than I am (perhaps this is ignorance on my part)
Does it look like I have traits of BPD or am I overreacting?