Within this month, some extremely frighting and scary things have been occurring to me. I have begun to hear noises in my head saying different things with different accents, they tell me different things all the time. Once I remember seeing a man in the forest all alone, and hearing voices stating to murder him. At some times, definitely a lot in my school, it feels like the entire day was one minute, I sometimes literally cannot remember anything I just did. It is extremely terrifying. I feel tired all the time, I rarely, if ever, smile. I am barely passing school, mostly Ds and C minuses – I dont use a single second of my day on studying or doing homework, and seeing as I barely can function in my school environment, I barely understand anything I am supposed to be learning, and I really dont care. I am always silent all day, and when confronted I simply answer with the quickest response I can.
And I really do not understand why I am feeling this. Nothing has really happened, I have begun to speculate if its because of my constant computer use and gaming; dissociation. But I really dont know, and I really cant handle it much longer. Especially after yesterday when my mom was extremely sad at the morning, and I was confused and asked whats wrong. She stated, in anger, that I had attacked her the last night and began to scream out that I wanted to kill her, myself and a bunch of other crazy stuff I could not even remember doing. I tried to act as I remember it and got (fakingly) angry and left the room.
I assume my question is, is it just a phase, something I should get therapy for (I really dont want to tell my mom about the other crazy stuff that has happened), am I suffering from something serious? I have read upon psychopathy, ASPD, etc. and I feel as I can relate to lacking empathy, nor do I ever express remorse in any situations. I really just dont know anymore and its hard to express all of my feelings, but again, getting a therapist is really the experience I really dont want to endure.
Forgot to add while making it initially, I mention my mom only since my father died before I was born.