From Norway: I recently discovered im codependent. I’ve recently broken up with my narcissistic ex after a 9 month relationship which as you would know, was not a pleasent experience on my behalf. I’m going to see a psychologist about this, but after reading posts on this side about it, i’d rather talk to you first.
I find myself in situations where i can’t say no nor do what would be considered most beneficial for me, A LOT. I’ve never seen myself as a whimp but after discovering what i am/what i’m stamped as, i feel like one. I want to ask you if there’s any way to self-improvement for this. I do not wish to continue living life being a full time people pleaser. And i’ve heard that fighting what i am with aggression will only my condition worse. I’m pleased with my life in many ways, but this i can’t handle all that well.
Is there any way to fight this without entering a state of depersonalization?Does Codependency Lead to Depersonalization?
Does Codependency Lead to Depersonalization?
Of course there is. Depersonalization isn’t a necessary outcome of working on setting better boundaries. I’m not at all surprised that you’re a people-pleaser. Narcissists do look for people who will admire them and who will put their own needs second. You’ve learned an important lesson about what to look for in a relationship — that is, someone who gives as well as receives.
I’m glad you have an appointment with a therapist who can pay attention to you and hear your whole story. You do deserve that attention. It will be helpful to you to focus on you for a time. Do your very best to actively use what you use in session.
The good news is that you are 18. You are catching the problem early. You have a long life ahead. By seriously involving yourself in therapy now, you will prevent the heartbreak of repeated relationships where you are always on the giving end.
I wish you well.