What a hard, hard way to live. I hope this response will encourage you to get the help you need. No one should have to cope with this kind of pain day in and day out.
From the information you included, I do think you have an anxiety disorder. I don’t know why the counselor rejected that idea so quickly. Perhaps she didn’t understand the level of your distress. Perhaps your anxiety prevented you from sharing enough information. Whatever the case, please, please don’t give up on all therapists because of your negative experience with one. Therapists are just like other people: They come with different personalities, different training, and different experience.
You were probably right to quit treatment at the time. You and the therapist were not on the same page about your diagnosis or your treatment. If you were paying for a 50 minute hour, you deserved 50 minutes of focused treatment. But that negative experience doesn’t mean that you don’t need treatment. You do.
Please do make an appointment with another counselor. If you could take care of the problems, you would have done so already. Take your letter and this response with you to the first appointment. You did a fine job laying out the problems. Reading it may help the new counselor understand the extent of your pain.
I wish you well.